Essential Steps I Took to Overcome My Fears

Going back a few years, I used to be overly shy, mostly because I was taught not to trust anyone, because everyone is against you, or so it seemed at the time. This was a false belief I held onto that was very incorrect.

I grew up with so many fears. I grew up being afraid to be myself and afraid to speak, so that my voice could be heard. I was a nervous wreck when I wanted to try something new, because I did not have control over the situation.

Since I did not have control over new situations, I could not foresee how it was going to go and what was going to happen, which scared me into isolation.

I purposely stopped myself from doing things that caused me anxiety and fear, because I was so afraid about what other people think of me. I was very sensitive to hurtful words and actions made by others.

One day, I woke up and felt like I didn't want to live this way anymore. I had to find a way to change the way I saw the world, but most importantly, how I felt about myself as a human being.

My first breakthrough out of my shell, was in College, when I had to give a presentation in front of the class. this scared me to death, but I tried to push through the fear and do it anyways.

I had a few weeks decide on how I was going to present, so I started by saying positive things about myself. I also visualized myself doing very well during the presentation and knowing that those people thought I had something valuable to say. It turns out, I did very well on the presentation, because I focused on the best positive outcome, not the worst negative outcome.

As I gradually worked myself up to speak in front of more people, the fears started to diminish because people would congratulate me on a job well done and give me a huge boost to my ego. It was kind of like a type fear exposure therapy to me that I decided to try to overcome my fears.

I realized that it does not matter what people think of me, because I am an awesome woman with many good things to offer the world. No one can hold me back and I will achieve my dreams, because in all honesty, no matter what

you do in life, haters are always gonna

hate, so why not sparkle and shine above them.

I also did some self-affirmation work and positive self-talk on myself to unlearn any cognitive distortions and limited thinking patterns I had developed over the years. This helped me to feel good about myself and to know that I was enough. Some of my affirmations and positive self-talk statement included telling myself things like: "I can do this, I have something valuable to say, I have some really good ideas to share with others, It is okay for my to be nervous because I am human, I am not my trauma, I no longer want to be afraid of life and I can make a positive change."

This journey of fear of the unknown into a world of positive opportunities did not happen over night, it takes a lot of time and dedication, with amazing results.

Yes, I still struggle some times with these fears, but they lessen each and every day that I remind myself of all the good qualities I have to share with those that mean the most to me.

 We must push through our fears and still accomplish the very things that intimidate us. That is how we grow, by doing things we are afraid to do and having a successful outcome. Think of all the benefits that will come to you because you did not give up, despite your fears. You will potentially increase your self-confidence and self-esteem, learn more about yourself and connect with like-minded individuals along the way.

Of course, the benefits will never end, because positive experiences always outweigh fear.

The best way to enjoy life is to take on each opportunity that comes your way and don't be afraid of what other people may think. The outcome will always be amazing! We will have the ability to experience all of the opportunities life has to offer us if we do not let fear get in the way and hold us back.

Remember this: "It is okay to be afraid and to feel those anxious feelings, but never let that stop you from achieving your future dreams and successes."

PS. "You totally got this and you will do great!"